Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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