I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize