question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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