you're like a bully in the Christmas story
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
