actually, I'm a sock model
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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