and next time when you feel me up, do it right
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
