I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
