Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
