I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize