She said her name was "party"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
