Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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