I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
