Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
