He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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