I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
