Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
