A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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