If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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