porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
