I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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