last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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