he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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