is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
