Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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