i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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