I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize