I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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