just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
