one might say we're banned from that church
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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