He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
