Have you finally orgasmed yet?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
