And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize