You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I looked at my own cervix.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
