Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
