conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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