i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
