Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
