Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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