Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When did angry sex become our thing?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
