I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
