party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
