Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
