Can i not drive my cunt home
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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