Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
