weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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