i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
