Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
