And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
