Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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