Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Everyone says I win the strip club
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
