So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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