how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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