I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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