I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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