You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize