Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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