Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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