I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
