Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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