Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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