Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
