i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
