For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
