It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
