last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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