worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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