she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
