He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
