I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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