Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
