Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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