official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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