stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
soo... how was my night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize